When parents separate or divorce, there are sometimes conflicts that make it difficult for them to work closely together. This could mean that co-parenting isn’t the ideal parenting style for them. In high-conflict situations, parallel parenting is often the most appropriate option.
This parenting style allows parents to both remain actively involved with their children without having to have too much involvement with each other. Parents operate independently in a parallel parenting relationship, although they must ensure that they’re always putting the child first as they make decisions. In particularly contentious scenarios, parallel parenting may help to reduce stress and conflict for everyone involved.
Communication and boundaries
Communication in parallel parenting is kept to a minimum and it’s focused on the children. It is usually handled through parenting apps, emails and other written communication because the conflicts might be so intense that verbal communication may be contentious.
Because of the possibility of confrontation, it’s necessary to set clear boundaries. This can involve who makes what decisions for the children and what type of communication is allowable.
Dividing responsibilities
The parenting plan that’s set up for a parallel parenting arrangement should include as much information as possible. It should address who is responsible for what areas of the children’s life. This can include decision-making powers for education, religion, extracurricular activities and medical care.
Some areas of concern may be subject to joint decision-making powers, but this typically only a good idea if the parents can’t have rational discussions regarding the children. The goal is to ensure that the children have consistency and the things they need in life.
Prioritizing children’s well-being
A child’s wellbeing has to be the primary focus of all parallel parenting plans. Children need a peaceful and stable environment so they can thrive. They can’t have this if they’re being subjected to persistent parenting conflicts.
A parenting plan should outline the rules and responsibilities for parallel parenting. Both parents should ensure they’re familiar with the terms so they can uphold their responsibilities. Working with a legal representative to get a parenting time schedule and other terms set in the best interests of the children – sooner rather than later – is important for all involved.